vent.

im frustrated with friends who arent friends.

truth.

maybe i just have high expectations? maybe i just hope for friendships that are meaningful. closer than a brother[sister]-friends. go out of their way-friends. considerate selfless-friends. not flavor of the week or month. because i am that far too much.

im really over that.

i think im just expecting what im giving. i've given so much. it seems i dont have anything left.

support.

i want to make art that is worth something. not monetary. worth something bigger. that is thought provoking. causes change. causes hope. changes someones life. i'd be ok if something i produced or created improved one single persons life. i'd be ok with that.

i want to paint a massive tree.

lately my heart has wanted something bigger. bigger than me. i want to be a part of change. at least, if anything, i want to see change in this life.

things you should look at [please]

tom's shoes. do it. they are causing change. in a unique way. its beautiful.

blood:water mission. clean water. enough said.

compassion international. child sponsorship. i've been doing it for years, and it has been a remarkable impact in my own life.

mocha club. there are so many needs. just so many.

anyway. i believe in hope. and i believe every single human being should have some. i just believe that. we are so fortunate. so blessed. lets spread some of those blessings to those who arent as fortunate. life is just too short. way too short.

<3

trouble. trouble.

So. As sweet as this fourth of July gig has been, its also been incredibly boring and slightly uncomfortable. I've been surrounded by more tribal tattoos than I can really imagine, skeevy men who only talk trash about each other and see just how vulgar and filthy they can get their mouths to be, and more disrespect than I care to mention. Shwew. I'm over it. Where are the good men? Seriously. I mean, I'm by no means on the look out on this holiday weekend, but seriously, where are they, in life?!? I know you're out there, sir. I'm not losing hope, but my heart has been less than joyful this weekend. Maybe I'm just naïve, a little too hopeless, ya know? I don't know what it is. I'm gonna soldier on. Maybe I just need a nap. And a shower. Hmm. Oh. Happy fourth of July.

phone bloggy

Today and tomorrow I will drive a golf cart. At the riverfront. Nashville is perfect today. My eye is less black. Come downtown for the fireworks, it should be amazing. From what I'm seeing. Just get here early, bypass some traffic. I love my job this weekend. Easy shmeasy. Oh yeah. I got a car today. In my name. It is a beaut. Ill have it Monday morning, we'll take a ride. Ok. Love you bye.