moving day.

click.

ive moved to this location.

cheers.

change.

i feel like i'm in a rut.

stuck.

my mom thinks its the overwhelmingness (is that a word?) that i'm getting married in fifty nine days..thats kinda the only thing right now that is keeping me sane. i also blame the lack of iron equally the lack of energy. i also blame the season transition thing. change is not pleasant right now. i'm too stubborn for change right now. why can't everything just remain the same??

ok. done. whining.

moving on.

so, fifty nine days, huh?

you betcha.

alls i have left is flowers and cake and pie.

we can do it.

cant wait to post pictures from all the events! tea in birmingham at the end of april, one in nashville being planned right now..so excited!

oh! and im going to chicago with two of my besties in a week and a half! yay! me and rach and amanda are gonna get some awesome girl time in. i cant wait.

<3

saint patricks.

i kinda forgot it was saint patricks day today. started noticing all the facebook and twitter posts, people getting excited about the day, talking about plans to drink green beer and all that. don't get me wrong, green beer sounds delicious. but i was curious to know exactly why we celebrate saint patricks day, because i was pretty sure there's more to it than getting wasted and blaming it on the holiday. turns out, Saint Patrick was from Britain and was taken from his home at a young age and was held for six years in captivity in Ireland. during his time as a prisoner, he felt like God spoke to him, telling him to spread the good news of Christ. he began his life as a missionary soon after he escaped from the prison. i read this really beautiful prayer of Saint Patrick, its so amazing. its really long, so i'll share my favorite part:

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,

Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ on my right, Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,

Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,

Christ in every eye that sees me,

Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today

Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,

Through belief in the threeness,

Through confession of the oneness,

Of the Creator of Creation.

so. its good to know that this day isn't just for drinking guiness and wearing green, but that it is to honor someone who lived out his faith.

happy saint patricks day.

sigh.

danny and i are sitting at fido. hes reading. im making some wedding plans (clearly)

we are embarking on an adventure, of sorts.

this time in three months, we will newly weds. newly hitched. can you believe it? hurry hurry

i feel like we are definitely sitting in that transitional season. a season where good friends are calling less and less, seeing each other more in passing and less in meeting. not because of odds or division. but just because that's how it goes.

its bittersweet, ya know? i am so excited about this journey. we are so blessed to be best friends and we get to plan life together, and we have this amazing opportunity to get married. but it is hard, when it feels almost as if i've been..forgotten.

its not the case, i know. its just another stage, another beautiful season.

and if we could just get through this winter, and the next three months..

til then. heres our wedding site, that is still in the works, love it, read it, sign the guest book.

d+k

enoughs enough.

i really like, no, love, when people are real.

like.

real. in the deepest, most purest sense of the word.

[not imitation or artificial; genuine.]

please stop. stop being artificial.

i also like, no, love, when people aren't selfish. when people stop stealing joy.

please stop stealing joy. quit being a thief.

lately i've been struggling. my joy keeps getting stolen. and my house is so cold. so it isn't helping much. i just don't understand how its justifiable to some to allow their circumstances and situations to drag the people around them down. what makes it ok?

im working on patience. im working on grace. im working on mercy. but geez man, somethings gotta give. snap out of it, seriously.

ok. enough of that.

ps. im getting married in one hundred and four days. 1.0.4.

"the Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still"

i am one blessed woman.

snoluha

we've been snowed in for a couple of days now. which means cabin fever. which means snow cream desserts. here you go. enjoy!

step 1. go outside with bowl. get snow. (should be clean)

step 2. use half and half, or some sort of milk product. our choice, local hatcher half and half. delish!

step 3. add a drop of vanilla and some sort of irish cream. we chose carolan's. mmm.

step 4. mix irish cream concoction with freshly scooped snow and stir.

step 5. add coffee from this mornings french press. thank you crema.

step 6. grab a spoon!

rejoicing.

yesterday a magical thing happened to a friend of a friend of a friend [i've never met the couple]

they got the child home. from haiti. the story is one of hope and joy and love, and God's beautiful beautiful strength. and i don't even know the details.

here is a moving music video, that tells a bit of the story. amos [their newest son] is home with them now. its just miraculous.

amos story

enjoy!

void.

in the last few hours, a heavy cloud of discouragement started hanging over me. i've been sitting alone at a coffee shop for several hours, doing school work, researching reception venues, scheduling things, and such.

and i had to stop and breathe in, and realize that although i am quite content in this season of my life (i can't help but smile when i think about marrying my best friend, beginning a new stage as a wife, as a help mate) but, i am consumed with the l-word.

loneliness.

i miss friendship sometimes (a lot of times) i have great ones, don't get me wrong. i have ones that are incredible, as well as being incredibly busy with life and love and work and such.

i suppose in this season its harder to maintain those friendships. i'm not good at spending my time alone. i've never been good at it.

i just looked outside. minutes ago it was dusk, it was grey. now it is evening, and there is a rain storm. it fits my mood to a T.

i feel grey and rainy and cold.

two of my favorites from our engagement shoot.

marisa mlynarek photo

embrace.

i need to get my creative juices flowing sooner than later. i work way better under pressure. but, im at a creative road block.

ok. enough of that for now.

wise words.

so cute.

my morning, as of late.

help, however you can.

off to work.

<3

archer hairline?

currently, i am following several blogs. tonight, i was looking at a London based blog i love, and came across this: what type are you? type, as in, font, and the meaning behind said font.

i am archer hairline.

come again?

archer hairline: straightforward with hints of emotion, only seen to those looking closely.

i love typography. so intriguing, no?

here see for yourself, let me know your results!

(just type character into the password section)

mittens and flowers.

eeee!

my urban find finally came in the mail today! my poor little hands with now be warm. success!

in other news. im struggling on the topic of flowers. go to a florist? buy wholesale? we are on a budget, so im not certain the best way to go that will be both economically smart as well as beautiful to the eyes. my thoughts thus far have been to buy wholesale and make centerpieces and bouquets myself, but im starting to second guess if i can pull it off. i know nothing about flowers and such. i havent even decided what kind i want yet.

thoughts?

ill take snows days any day.

(only if it has to be this cold)

new new.

danny, my roommate lacey, and i watched julie and julia the other night. what an inspiration! to start writing more, to starting cooking more, or learning to cook, rather. (although i do not see myself learning how to de-bone a duck anytime soon)

but. i decided to revamp my blog a bit, and use this as an outlet, a way of documenting of my adventures as a newly-engaged girl planning a wedding, planning a marriage.

if anything it will be therapy for me, to get ideas out of my jumbled head, a way of sharing lovely discoveries to you, as i dive in to the crazy world of insane wedding planning.

(even with a terrible terrible cold, i can still smell what seems to be cinnamon, or nutmeg, in the apartment above mine..how delicious!)

now i must break from writing. it is a snow day here in nashville(with no snow, mind you) it is not a snow day for me, damn those online classes. algebra calls. i'm pondering the idea of paying someone to finish my class for me..hmmm.

i'll be leaving you (whoever you are) with internet treats so soon! i've been uncovering so many wonderful things in my online searches, so just you wait, soon, very soon.

fin.

the last thirteen days have been more than overwhelming.

its so hard to wrap my mind around the events as of late, how emotions have been on both ends of the spectrum. i have been so incredibly happy the past few weeks. i have been sad and angry to boot. [i swear sometimes im bipolar, or some nonsense like that, but most likely im just overwhelmed and dealing]

i am engaged to the most amazing man ive ever known. i have so incredibly blessed. honored at that. [place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. it burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. song of solomon 8:6]

i have such wonderful and supportive friends. how i came across them, i will never know. my heart aches so much knowing that some of my best friends are a million miles away, in different states and different countries. if only nashville was your home too.

i am scared. i am incredibly excited. i am sitting in my new home. it is a perfect little apartment with hardwood floors and big windows and even bigger trees outside of them. it is cozy. i am excited for the upcoming year. i am ready to put two thousand and nine behind me.

hardest year of my life.

its funny [and by funny i dont really mean funny at all] how two seconds can change your life forever. how life becomes more real, more destructible, in two seconds. how breathing a last breath is feasible.

how incredibly fortunate i am. how incredibly good God is.

i am ready for two thousand and ten. i am ready for a new chapter and a new story.

ps. coeur de pirate will hold a special place in my heart. i love her and her music and her singing voice and her piano playing skills. oh. and. her hair.

i love you. and you.

ok.

ahem.

lets start from the beginning.

yesterday the fifteenth of december. it was sweet little Kailyn's three year old birthday party. i got her two dr. seuss books. oh, the places you will go! and the sleep book. seriously, so excited to go to a three year olds birthday party.

danny wanted a coffee date before we left, at fido. there were a couple of times where i definitely tried to get out of it so we could just go to the partay.

but alas. we went. i picked danny up from his apartment and we went to get coffee at fido. props to D, he was so calm. it was kinda busy..we went to look for a table. we walked towards the back, im super oblivious. sooo. i looked up and saw one of my dearest friends john from wisconsin sitting in the back with kami and david and calen. what the hell? i kinda freaked out, yet, i still had no clue what was going on.

we hugged. it was a good moment. i turned around and saw rachel and lacey. and then i got super confused. and then it happened. i dont really remember much after that, except i kept sayin "oh God this is happening right now" danny got down on one knee. and said "wanna be my wife?" i think i said yes? haha.. i said yes.

perfect moment. pictures to follow.

loveyou.

fallwinter.

fall quickly fades to winter.

its funny how seasons change, and we just miss it. its so hard, with life as busy as it is, to stop. and to breathe. and to embrace the slowly fading green to yellow to red to brown. we almost miss it.

how did it happen? i want it back. i want to slow down. but move fast. have my cake, and eat it too.

how can i make time stop//but get through this season?

i remember last year at this time. it was a hard time. it was a bitter time. not so much in cold weather. but you know when its so cold out and you are completely wrapped up in gloves and scarves and hats and coats, but its still so cold. that bitter "i can't breathe i can't catch my breath" that cold? it was bitter. i just wanted to catch my breath. i just wanted to catch a break. i remember someone said, if we can just get through this winter, then we'll be ok. i hung on to that hope throughout the winter. and then it was spring. in books, in literature, spring represents renewal and rebirth. "Nothing is so beautiful as spring"-hopkins..agreed, sir. i am glad for changing seasons, seasons of growth and movement and changes of color and gloves and hats and cider. and such. i am so so thankful. now if i could just slow down.

i am looking forward to spring. yes. moving forward, learning as i go, walking side by side, hand in hand, with a loving and supportive man of God, who continually challenges and motivates me to seek after the Lord. and lets me be, wait, no, loves me for, who i am. emotional//loud//crazy//dodgy//mess. ah, yes, you! you are the one i have been waiting for. so glad our paths crossed. and you asked me to be yours.

[thank you, Jesus]

i walked up to my house tonight, my sweet sweet house where i spent the past 11 months seeking and growing and changing. and i stopped. and i crunched a bunch of leaves that were on the sidewalk. and smiled. those little things in life, they create more joy in my heart than a lot of big things.

ive rambled enough for one evening. its time to sleep. i have an electric blanket now, thanks to my parents. i won't be so cold anymore.

<3

my boyfriend just sent me this photograph. i am in love with it. and him.

ahem.

i'm just ready for a new last name.

there. i said it.

wait.

i feel like im waiting for something. theres the intense anticipation in my heart, but i cant quite place it.

what am i waiting for?

i guess im just not satisfied with myself. oh to be more talented, more accomplished, financially stable, skinnier, healthier, ________. you get the idea.

so. how do i get there? i dont really know.

today its raining. its been raining for 9 or 10 days. im ready for the sun to come out again.