i think i'm safer on the jetway, than a world without love.

so.

i'm sitting alone in north carolina. its a cold place. maybe i would enjoy it more if i was a)awake and not completely exhausted or b)if i had gotten out and seen the city or done interesting things here. but i've seen the inside of a van for hours upon hours; the inside of a sketch, but warm, ramada; the inside of cute college radio station which happened to be the location of my short but much needed nap for today; the inside of the worst idea ever which happened to be walking through an asian market place to kill time, for the market is next to the venue which is also next to the local karate place; the inside of a starbucks that i found to be set up quite poorly; and the inside of this cute little venue called cafe jam where everlife will be playing shortly. 

and i keep questioning, what am i doing? i mean, obviously, im sitting here around the beautifully decorated Christmas merch table, selling merch, meeting people and realizing more and more how awkward i can be, but more and more how much my heart loves people. to be fortunate enough to travel around and see people in different walks of life, it really is such an honor. so there lies my question, what am i really doing? am i pursuing that love? i'm not sure. i keep second guessing art school. not that its the right thing to do, or that God completely opened that door when other doors were slammed shut. but what am i going to do with that? i dont have any answers yet. 

we watched aladdin in the van last night. well, we did not. me and advil pm were friends, but quickly became enemies because i did not sleep much. but, aladdin was playing, and i vaguely remember listening to the genie. if life were that easy, to have a magical genie that i could become BFF with who could answer all my questions and wishes..life, however, is not so easy. perhaps at times. its challenging and rewarding and exciting and frustrating and new and wonderful and refreshing...and all that..im challenged daily. but life is quite refreshing right now. even amongst the questions, i am content. 

i really like flannel. and gloves. and death cabs photo album. and christmas lights. and sitting at fido. i need to do that right when i get home. 

love.