empty.

"if through my cracked and dusty dime store lips, i spoke these words out loud would no one hear me?"

why does ray always make me think and ponder? im not sure. but he does. and im glad. until i start over thinking. and then that gets annoying..life just doesnt make any sense. i feel like im spinning out of control. i want to slow down. i want things to calm down. seriously. could you just stop? every bit. get out of my head. get out of my thoughts. k? thanks. 

goodnight. 

my best friend for life is engaged. 

jean is engaged.

probably more excited than ive ever been. well. really really excited. seriously? yes, seriously. 

i am so happy for your little heart, my love. you deserve a prince, for you are a princess. god has been so good and so faithful to you. i have been fortunate enough to see this journey and walk with you in it. 

ok. now i will drive impulsively four hours to hug you and hold your hand and meet your fiance! =)

go cry about it, why dont you...

i'm eating a day old scone. but i mean, its really that gross or anything. because scones are supposed to be kinda hard. im not above eating day old scones. 

im gearing up for the madness that is the day after thanksgiving in cool springs. that means, give yourself at least 30 to 40 extra minutes to get anywhere. and dont come to starbucks. because i might be sassy to you. not because im sassy. i mean, i am. but because lines will be to the door and cars will be around the corner and i will be sass-a-frass trying to get their damn coffee. but you are more than welcome to come visit =) 

i would like to take this moment to personally thank john mayer for continuum. thank you for writing down my thoughts and my heart and my emotions and making a record and making millions and millions. thank you for the heart of life, because pain does throw my heart to the ground, and bad news never had good timing, and no, it wont all go the way it should...but the heart of life is good... according to john. soo..thanks. tanks. 

thanksgiving alone was not all that bad. i wasnt alone. i was surrounded by love and laughter and will farrell and zooey deschanel (who ive decided i want to be when i grow up) and christmas spirit and infamous apple cider. 

ok. its off to sleep and dream. im looking forward to two thousand and nine. seriously. 

tanks giving time.

i love the lyrics to lenka's song 'knock knock'. look it up. i havent taken a good nap in quite awhile. this is my first thanksgiving away from home, and im a bit sad about it. i want a dove tattoo, how cliche. but i dont want another heart tattoo. i dont think. i wish i took better care of myself. new years resolution? probably not. i am moving into a new house. hopefully. it is big and beautiful and i will live in a dining room covered with windows. i'm completely ok with that. we will need furniture. and art too. i never ever want to unpack a starbucks christmas coffee mug box ever again. i dont like it when boys treat girls badly. and when girls let them. that frustrates me. because i do it sometimes. i text too much. i ran over a curb tonight texting. i might cut back. but i doubt it. only because i know myself. i got in to art school. im more scared today than i was yesterday. im impulsive. but not as much as i used to be. i say im a brick wall. but im not really. you can read me like a book. i hope its a good read. i like sleeping on a bus, but only if its warm. i can not, however, sleep in a van. ive learned in the past three weeks how utterly impatient i can be. i apologize if our paths have crossed in that area. im pushing through that. i hate calenders marked and dates circled. and i dont really like eighteen wheelers that much. i finally found an elizabethtown red hat, and its not as amazing as i thought it would be. maybe it will someday soon. i hope so. i have a little rock from lake michigan that is almost the shape of a heart. i love it so much. i say whats on my mind and in my heart a little too much. i feel like a stranger. i need to search for new feathers to put in my hair. i can not wait for this winter to be over, and it has just started. this season is too cold, both physically and emotionally. god is bigger than my circumstances. what good news. im thankful for that. i want a yard gnome and pretty flowers. and i want my bicycle back. i should put up missing bicycle flyers. they stole the basket and the helmet too. atleast they'll be safe. i love my roommate. and i think i will love my new roommate too. did i mention im going to live in a dining room? it will be perfect. im really sleepy. i think i just want someone to hold hands with. 

that is all. 

goodnight. 

bloggity blog.

hello old friend. i have missed you.

i'm bundled on the couch in a big blanket. i made homemade apple cider and cooked breakfast for dinner. it is one of my favorite things. i could eat breakfast for any meal. it makes me reminiscent of birmingham, and my mom. i like those memories.

my heart and my head have been so full lately. so overwhelmed and so heavy. i guess i'm dealing and im coping. and God has held in my heart in His hands for so long. and i am forever grateful for that. i'm reevaluating what life is going to look like. and i'm looking forward to the possibilities and the opportunities. 

but i am a brick wall. cant get through this girl. and i have a love hate relationship with that.  

and i keep getting myself into awkward situations. and they are funny. but geez. come on.

i need a life coach. really? really. 

and art school. what? i can not wait. i am scared to death. i sure hope i dont suck. 

<3